Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don’t know where I’m at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done
You say either and I say either
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either, a-neither, neither
Let’s call the whole thing off
Yes, you like potato and I like potato
You like tomato and I like tomato
Potato, potato, tomato, tomato
Let’s call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you like pyjamas and I like pajamas
I’ll wear pyjamas and give up pajamas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Oh, let’s call the whole thing off, yes
You say laughter and I say laughter
You say after and I say after
Laughter, laughter, after, after
Let’s call the whole thing off
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla, vanella, oh, chocolate strawberry
Let’s call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I’ll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Let’s call the whole thing off
Yes, you say either, and you say either
You say neither, and you say neither
Either, either, a-neither, a-neither
Let’s call the whole thing off (Oh yes)
You like potato and you like potato
You like tomato and you like tomato
Potato, potato, tomato, tomato
Let’s call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
Oh, so if you like pyjamas (I like pajamas)
I’ll wear pajamas (You got pajamas)
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off (Better call the whole thing off, we)
Let’s call the whole thing off
Let’s call the whole thing off (Yes!)
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