These are the tales the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
You don’t like my dirty raps? You can go to hell
‘Cause $hort Dawg is on the mic tellin’ cocktales
H-E-A-D
All you washed-up hoes tryna throw that P
You just a big freak, you better not complain
When you hear these cocktales and you hear yo’ name
If you a fake bitch, ain’t no thing
I’ll pick up the phone and call Janine
If I call Marie, I know for a fact
I’m gettin’ sucked in my drop-top Cadillac
I met this freak named Naomi
Straight dick-sucker, worked me and my homie
She had a girlfriend, her name was Vickie
I pulled her to the side and let her suck my dick
She was fine as fuck, but can’t fuck with Tina
Tina, Tina, the sperm cleaner
I took her to my house and I told her “strip”
Baby got freaky, started doing the splits
I said, “Beyotch! Do what you want
‘Cause this true-blue mack won’t even front”
I fucked her with my finger, she tried to cum
Pussy so tight it, wouldn’t give me none
I’m Sir Too $hort, baby, couldn’t be no punk
I’m tryna get freaky ’cause I love the funk
My dick is big and her nigga had a little one
I didn’t fuck her freaky ass, but it was still fun
I know you stop and wonder just what it is
It’s the California lifestyle that I live
See I’m from the Crew, Dangerous, bitch
Tellin’ everybody ’bout this freaky shit
I know this bitch named Annette
Get her all alone and she’ll suck your dick
Hella freaky, won’t say no for shit
You and her all alone, nigga, that’s your bitch
I know another freak, her name’s Joanne
I always get the pussy ’cause I know I can
Finest bitch around, ain’t got no man
Every time she cross my mind, I go fuck her again
She’s like another freak named Christina
Bitch so dumb, I named her “misdemeanor”
‘Cause it had to be a crime to be that dumb
I took her to my house and she let me cum
In her mouth, you know I did all that shit
She got my number, if she beep me, I’m gonna call that bitch
And go dig in them guts like a gardener
If she starts screamin’, I’m gonna fuck the bitch harder
These are the tales the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
You don’t like my dirty raps? You can go to hell
‘Cause $hort Dawg is on the mic tellin’ cocktales
I meet the groupies, hookers like Kathy
Fucking MC’s ’cause she’s so nasty
See her backstage tryna throw that ass
She just like the freaks and she had to pass me that pussy
You can’t stop the bitch
Let her roll on vogues, then I drop the bitch
My name is Short, my game is long
I freak these hoes and sing these songs
I know a bitch named Stephanie
Do anything she can to have sex with me
She really don’t bring out the best in me
But I love her fine ass layin’ next to me
She’s like another freak named Nicole
So damn sprung on my diamonds and gold
I took her to my house, she gave me the panties
I fucked her so good she told her friend named Angie
Angie called me up about two weeks later
Talking some shit about “Do me, player”
So I did her just like Tamara
Taking naked pictures with my Polaroid camera
Next they told a bitch named Raquel
Got my skin all under her fingernails
She was diggin’ in my back while I grind the shit
That was way back, now I can’t find the bitch
But if I do, I’ll probably do the same again
Break the bitch for everything, ’cause I came to pimp
I’m Too Short, baby, I don’t stop mackin’
I grab the microphone and I don’t stop rappin’
You can bet your life as I spit these raps
I’ll be fucking ’em up like that, bitch
I know a bitch, her name was Sherry
I had to cut her loose ’cause she wanted to get married
Pussy so good and I do mean very
Sometimes it’s shaved, sometimes it’s hairy
I’m $hort Dawg, ain’t nothin’ nice
You ever make me mad and I’ll fuck your wife
Have fun with your bitch and have her sprung on my dick
I guess I’ll pull it out and just cum on your bitch
Like my other little tramp named Erica
Anywhere I want to fuck, that’s where I’ll fuck
‘Cause she’s the freakiest bitch in America
And every time I get the pussy, I just tear it up
These are the tales the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
You don’t like my dirty raps? You can go to hell
‘Cause $hort Dawg is on the mic tellin’ cocktales
Beyotch! And it don’t stop to the beat
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