A suicidal haze, unreal like a torturous dream
Old stinging mental wounds, still raw and fucking bleeding
Drowning in the womb of misery, the mother of depression
The slaughter of all hope, the grim death of compassion
Sell your soul to evil; sell your soul to death
… Suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide…
A dead empty stare into the ruins of my world
A world I have already left, so many years ago
(Spoken by Christian Bale, sampled from the ending of American Psycho)
There are no more barriers to cross.
All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane
The vicious and the evil
All the mayhem I have caused
And my utter indifference toward it
I have now surpassed.
My pain is constant and sharp
And I do not hope for a better world for anyone.
In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others.
I want no one to escape.
But even after admitting this
There is no catharsis
My punishment continues to elude me
And I gain no deeper knowledge of myself.
No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling.
This confession has meant nothing.
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