This is me
I am here
I ask the world the price
And then I multiply that price by one point five using this very simple formula
I hear what I want to hear
And see what I want to see
I see two anchovies running towards me
Two anchovies could never hurt me; they’re too delicious
I pull out a bag from my bag
Inside of it is a sign that reads: “cheating is wrong”
I nod
There’s nothing I can’t do
Except what I can’t do, or what you don’t want me to do
But sometimes all I want to do is nothing
Merrill tells us that the least thing our self-love longs for most
Others instinctively withhold
And that only when time has slain desire is its wish granted
To a smiling ghost, neither harmed nor warmed now by the fire
At a small family-owned beach resort
I eat a BBLT and drink pond water
My astrologer calls me and says I will die in a body of water
That’s not a problem for me; I’m an Aquarius
And isn’t the Earth basically a body of water anyway?
Life is but a place of brief incarceration
I used to enjoy hearing what I had to say to myself
It used to make me laugh
Now it just makes me stare at myself in the mirror
And do Brazilian dances
I dry my dishes on my clothes line
My bug bites take a year to heal
My favorite meal is sandwiches
A girl wearing frayed jean shorts asks me how I feel
I don’t answer
When she walks away, I notice she has “game over” tattooed on the back of her thighs in the Tetris font
I nod
Surfers of the world’s spirit unite
You know I walked through Paris while that church burned
And though I saw an ember in the dirt
It was actually a flower
Old women melt in the street and prayed
And I asked the rain how long the rain would fall
And nothing changed or answered
Mayhem is the coming together of friends
Pandemonium, a perfect, free lunch
And remember that though your head might hurt
Your heart still knows the truth
The dinner plans can always be successfully enlarged
Thank you for almost everything
At the end, they will take me out on my stretcher
And I will be in good spirits
Buckle up, you may want to survive this one
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